15. Dreadful Dystopian YA That Will Go Unnamed

By Inexperienced Author (265 pp ebook)

Have I ever told the story about my cousin and Family Circus? She hates Family Circus because it's never funny. On Sundays someone would hold the comics section of the paper (this was 20 years ago) and say, "Family Circus is funny today." And she would say, "Let me see," and then read it and toss the paper aside and say, "No it's not. It's never funny."

WHY DO I KEEP READING THESE TERRIBLE YA BOOKS? I hear somewhere that they're good. The story elements sound interesting. And then I start reading.

First person, present tense. Weak characterization. Conflict consists of petty arguments that go on for pages. "Should we tell him?" "Don't tell him!" "Tell me what?" (repeat for 10 pages) Cliched writing: guttural cries, chills go up and down spines, stomachs clench and unclench. Plot issues are resolved by someone guessing a password or escaping an impenetrable fortress via a conveniently forgotten staircase or easily locating and administering life-saving medicine from an abandoned hospital. And scenes have details that sound like they came from watching TV or Wikipedia. Implausible police interrogations, medical procedures or military operations.

Do not recommend.